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Why Play The Victim?

Why do people play the victim?  Think back to the last time you were upset.  Maybe you were crying or at the very least doing something that indicated you were upset on the outside.  What did people around you do?

Asked you if you were okay, said they’d like to help, took you out to make you feel better, ect…

People keep asking why would some people (we’re not naming names here) play the victim in their field.  Why would they want to be viewed as downtrodden, maybe even pathetic, and in need of others’ help.

They answered their own question with that last one.

People play the victim because we as human beings are general good, empathic people.  Meaning if someone’s upset, we want to help.

I knew a girl who always seemed to have something going wrong in her life.  Parts in her apt kept breaking, her car broke down, something flooded.  And she was always talking about it and saying how she was overcoming it.  And she got a ton of attention and sympathy and help.  Because that’s what humans do!

Of course we should do all that.  The problem arises when people figure this out and start to take advantage of it.  Once they get taken out to dinner because they’re upset over a big repair bill on the car, or a bad grade, or a breakup, they start to figure out this is something they can use in the future to get things.  You cry, you get somebody to give you a ride or free food, ect…

So some people start to abuse this.  They cry when they get pulled over to get out of a ticket, and then they rant about that evil boy who broke up with them to their friends to get attention/free stuff/activities whatever.

Then people take it a step further.  Instead of it being, I had this horrible day so you need to take care of me and make me feel better, it goes into, I am the victim every day of my life because of something in my genetic makeup, so give me things.  (I’m going to bring in the example, can’t help it 🙂  I’m a woman writing in sci fi/ fantasy and it’s so sexist in that world that I should get a leg up to make up for it, or you know, just don’t let men publish for a year in this genre.

What’s really disgusting about this is it decreases the empathy and help we’re willing to give for people who actually are going through a bad time or in a bad situation because of their genetic makeup.  My boy got out of the USSR because he’s Jewish.  The US let him and his family in because their people were mass victimized by their government.  That’s an example of people who take the empathy and gifts due to a genuinely bad situation and use it well.

When we take empathy and turn it into a weapon to manipulate a better situation when we aren’t actually victims, we’re taking away from the people who really are.

Happy writing 🙂

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