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Don’t Call, Email or Curse Your Ex

No, really.  I don’t care what day it is, do not, under any circumstances, no matter how drunk you may get tonight, do anything involving your ex.

Think about it, what good would it do you to call or otherwise communicate with your ex?  If you’ve managed to stay friends, you’ll strain the friendship by making it awkward.  If you haven’t and you’re calling out of the blue, you’re going to feel even more pathetic than you already do.

I know what you’re going to say, I have a guy I’ll be spending Valentine’s with, how would I know what you’re feeling on this day?

Because I’ve been there!  I never had a date let alone a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day until I was 25.  Yeahhhhhh, not even a high school sweetheart.  As far as I can tell looking back, I scared guys in high school.  In college, I dated some, never happened to find one around Valentine’s.  Then I got out of Utah and came to Nashville for law school and I suddenly had tons of guys interested… and no clue what to do about it 🙂  I spent 1L year learning how to date and deal with guys, what most kids learn by 16.

1L year, I had an ex.  A broke my heart into a million pieces, which I didn’t think was possible, ex.  And he had a new girlfriend he probably spent Valentine’s with.  I was down.

On Facebook, this is what I wrote (I used the Facebook timehop thing)

“Trying to convince myself that getting smashed on a school night is a bad idea no matter what fucking ‘holiday’ it is.”

And then the next year, I posted the song from Disney’s Hercules and quoted it:

“‘If there’s a prize for rotten judgment, I guess I’ve already won that. No man is worth the aggravation. That’s ancient history, been there, done that.’ – My Valentine’s Day Song.”

Yep, see, been there. Done that 🙂

Okay, so maybe I’ve convinced you not to call your ex, but why am I telling you not to do something silly and pretend (at least as far as I know 🙂 like cursing your ex?  Or going to his house and keying his car, or whatever little nasty thing you can think of?

Because then, 1) your ex is living rent free in your head and you’re not going to get over it until he’s evicted.  And 2) you are better than that.  No, don’t argue with me.  Look yourself in the mirror and know that you are better than that.  You are not that pathetic, you are not that petty, and you are too good to let yourself fall that far.

Remember, before you seek revenge, dig two graves.

I came up with a million things to do to my ex, the craziest of which was burning down his apartment building, which really wasn’t that crazy because it was a horrible little building the school kept tricking grad students into renting by having it just down the street from the law school and coming furnished.

Anyway, I didn’t, because I didn’t want to be that girl.  You’re not empowering yourself when you get back at your ex, you’re lowering yourself.  You aren’t hurting them like they hurt you, because they broke your heart, you’re looking at breaking a possession… if you’re seriously considering breaking anything on a living being, check yourself into the psychiatric center.

I can’t tell you how to let it go.  I still don’t know.  I still have a little place of hate in my heart for my ex.  I also have a little place of love.  I’ve taken what he’s done and put it in a book.  At first I joked it was revenge, I’d tell the world what he did.  But now, year’s later?  It’s about telling my story to get it out, because that does help you heal, and it’s also warning girls about what can happen with guys because we have this idea that only bad guys do shitty things, when really anybody can do something shitty because they made a mistake, even when they are generally a good person.

So keep in mind, you are better than chasing the heels of your ex, you are exes for a reason after all, and remember you are better than revenge, who knows how much you’ll ruin your life by trying to take it, or just by thinking about it because then you aren’t moving on.

And to further go with this theme of you don’t want to be that ex, the first Evie story is up for free today.  Evie Jones and the Crazy Exes 🙂

evie jones
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